This happens numerous times in everyone’s life: they go through an eventful breakup with a friend/boyfriend/etc., people take sides, and then you realize who your real friends are and who was just screwing you. I just went through something like that recently, and found myself in a mess of writing dumb poems, making a billion phone calls to supportive people who give a crap about me, and then just… getting over it. The getting over it process consists of watching movies, eating a bunch of junk food, discovering you suddenly can’t fit into your size two jeans anymore, and then working out like crazy just so you can get back into said size two jeans. All the while, the people on the other side of this breakup are either a) living the life or b) going through the exact same thing… except, you pray, they never fit back into their size two jeans. You hope that they turn into a blimp. Anyway. That’s not the point. The point is, that there is always someone there. That sounds really cheesy, but it’s true. There was someone on the other side of the phone, at least half-listening to all the problems you had. You whined and cried and acted like a complete and utter fool, but they were there. That’s whats important. Someone was there. For me, I was lucky, I had several people. They all probably had their own share of problems, but they took out a few hours of their time just to listen. That’s when you discover it. It’s when you discover the true friends, and you realize the break up was all for the better. You didn’t really lose friends. In truth, they were never your friends to begin with. (Now how many times has your mom told you that?) All you did was weed out the negativity and got back to the positive. That’s good. In fact, it’s necessary. So. When was the last time you weeded out the negative, embraced the positive, and just lived?
Posts tagged friends
I know this boy. He’s a very, very attractive boy with a very, very unattractive reputation. He’s gotten one girl pregnant and had several other pregnancy scares. He’s kind to people who he deems worthy of being kind to, but only them. To everyone else? He couldn’t care less. He can be rude. He has a perverse nature. You have to entertain him. But you learn, it’s not worth it. He’s the boy everyone wants to be best friend friends with. He seems so appealing when you look at him: the great span of the picture that is him. But then you look close. And you then you realize… he’s not very pretty at all. Why were you ever attracted to a boy like that? I never really was —- I was, however, star struck when he started acting like he wanted to be my friend. That was important to me. Then, the minute I started getting close… I became disenchanted. He was tiresome. He was a part of that select group of men and women who, from afar are beautiful, radiant, spectacular… and who are nothing but tiresome, overwhelming, and ugly when up close. It makes you wonder… are you a tiresome one?
Yesterday, I was hanging out with some friends (about thirty people) from 10:30 am to about 7:00 pm. We hung out outside —- played frisbee, went to a water park, got so sunburned we could barely feel our faces —- but it was all totally worth it. I was happy. I then got a call at about 10:00 pm from my best friend in the whole world. I have a friend she doesn’t like. I hung out with the friend she didn’t like all day yesterday. She called to complain. It got me thinking about where the lines of every friendship are drawn. To my best friend, hanging out with someone she dislikes is a line. It shouldn’t be done. I have to abide by her rules if I want our friendship to succeed. This isn’t a rant on my best friend, we worked everything out in the long run, but it made me consider where the lines of every relationship are located. With some people, even saying one wrong thing is a line. Gossiping once is another one. Being too loud, being too quiet, saying too much, saying too little —- all lines in the sand. I sometimes wish that, as people, we were more upfront about where our lines are. If we told people, perhaps they wouldn’t cross over said lines. But, then, I realize that that’s false. So many times, we are aware of unspoken lines and we cross them anyway. Lines in the sand never stop anyone from doing anything, and it’s a mighty shame too. Anyway. Thoughts?
Maybe it’s just me… but is it sometimes odd how our closest friends are also our dearest enemies? I know I know. Not too original of a thought. But seriously. Why is it that we tend to befriend people who aren’t healthy for us? The same question goes for why we also fall in love with people who are toxic. Why on Earth do we do any of that? Why do we run to unhealthy relationships so quickly, as if we need that unhealthy edge in our lives?Don’t we realize what’s good for us is to just stay away? Even telling the person that they’re hurting us would be more beneficial than just standing around whining to another frenemy about said frenemy when all you want to do is to take the enemy out.
Maybe it’s just that we all crave drama so. I know I do. Anyway, answer me my question. Why on Earth do we search, oh not just search —- long, for relationships with expiration dates? Why do we long for the toxicity of a frenemy and a love who’s just a negative influence? Why?